Monday, April 11, 2011

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie


Oh no! There's trouble in Angel Grove once again. Who will save us?!
If only there were six semi-culturally diverse teenagers who have exceptional martial arts skills and an unlimited amount of resources who can come to our aid.
Well, even though that was an incredibly specific wish I just asked for, it seems to have been granted in the form of six teenagers. However, these are no ordinary teens. They're not wearing braces and getting embarrassed because their voices keeps cracking. These teens have the toughness to make Schwarzenagger (circa 1988) look like a frightened child, and have the looks to make A.C. Slater (circa 1989-present) look like an ugly frightened child. That saying, "If looks could kill" does not apply to them, simply because they don't need their looks to kill. Their fists and feet will handle all of the untimely deaths a person could hope for.
The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers are the total package. And in the appropriately named film, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie, they prove why. The movie begins with a charity skydiving scene in which the Rangers jump out of a plane and entertain the large crowd on the ground. You know, normal things for people who aren't old enough to vote to be doing.
But then something happens that is not very normal...a giant egg is unearthed and no one knows what's inside. The egg is appropriately guarded by two men who appear to not have graduated elementary school, and roped off with a strand of caution tape. How could anyone possibly get to that egg?
Well of course Lord Zedd and Rita Repulsa quickly knock out the guards and crack open the egg. They even bring along their faithful companions, Porky Pig and Blue Wolf Man. Zedd dramatically cracks open the egg, and the evilest s.o.b. this world has ever seen pops out: Ivan Ooze. Ivan sniffs around and smells something odd...teenagers! A battle quickly ensues.
We come to learn that Ivan once tried to enslave the entire universe 6,000 years ago, but was stopped by Zordon (who just so happens to employ the Power Rangers). Ivan is your stereotypical villain: purple, alien-like face, and the ability to turn into ooze. He also has plenty of classic lines throughout the film, in addition to a fantastic wizard costume.
The movie kicks into full gear when Ivan penetrates the Ranger's home base (or whatever they call it) and nearly kills Zordon. The Rangers travel to an island and encounter bird men, and deadly dinosaur skeletons, but they also get new powers.
Ivan makes every adult into a zombie by manufacturing, promoting and selling his ooze. I'm sure he could of had a very honest and successful career as a small business owner or low-level product inventor. He probably would have invented the Snuggie years ago.
Then there's a crazy battle at the end, and in a big upset the Rangers defeat Ivan and his cronies and send him packing.
Now they can go back to their charity skydiving events like normal teenagers.

1 comment:

  1. Haha. I really need to just say thank you...for always putting a smile on my face with your blog when I need one.

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