Heavy Weights

The mid-1990s were a good time in this nation's history. The Internet was in its baby stages, our president was not having any secret alone time with interns yet, the Ford Bronco was more famous than ever before and my tee-ball team reached the playoffs. But then something happened that turned everything on its head: Heavy Weights was released nationwide, forever changing the way American people lived their lives.
That's a bit of a stretch you say? Well you're probably right.
Heavy Weights is a fine piece of cinema, but is not on the same level as some of the other movies I've written about. I'm not sure why that is, but it could be because it scared kids who were going to summer camp.
There is an all-star cast headlining this film including the likes of Aaron Schwartz, Shaun Weiss and Tom McGowan. You don't no who any of these people are? Neither does anyone else. That's the problem with movies that star children: they often peak as child actors. It's not everyday that a Ron Howard or Drew Barrymore comes strolling around, it's a rare occurrence.
Perhaps the biggest mystery involving a cast member's career was the guy who played the villain, Tony Perkis. I know his name starts with the letter "B" but that's about it. Wait, I got it: Bruce Stover. I wonder whatever happened to him.
His name is actually Ben Stiller, and his legacy should not be tarnished with such a feeble attempt at humor. Sorry Ben, I'll let you win the next round of golf to make up for it.
Ben plays Tony Perkis who is one mean S.O.B. When Jerry's parents enlist him in fat camp for the summer, he has no idea what he is getting into.
Tony takes over the camp and makes Guantanamo Bay look like a Sunday morning bird watching group. He has the kids doing all sorts of crazy activities, including a hike up a mountain, and cutting out some of their meals.
Tony wants to sell his infomercial to make tons of money, so he needs the boys to lose weight. My favorite scene in the movie is when he weighs each boy individually and does not get the results he wants. Goldberg from The Mighty Ducks cannot seem to shed any lbs.
The campers eventually trap Tony and lock him in some sort of cage. The rest of the staff agrees to keep him locked up and an intense eating binge ensues. The campers then defeat their rivals, Camp MVP in some sort of relay race that ends in a go-kart race for the history books.
Everything ends well for the overweight kids at Camp Hope, and people everywhere have been trying to replicate these dance moves because of it.